Friday- Jan 01 2010

I remembered the day, Saturday-Dec, 19 2009 where the everything started to changed. Today, everyone seems busy burying their heads inside the thick and suffocating psychotherapy books since there is only 48 hours left before the doomsday. Stressful atmosphere can be felt. I woke up in the afternoon as usual and later went out for dinner. After finished our dinner, we went to SKY a.k.a our third home. As usual, we played DOTA. Suddenly, I saw ‘her’ online and my mind was distracted. It’s nothing unusual since for the past few days, I am having insomnia and a weird “disease”. The “disease” is called love sick and can be “cure” by receiving love. It keeps on bothering me even though I tried so hard to push it aside for the mean time. I started our conversation by talking about the camp that ‘she’ joined. Suddenly, I made a brave action. I confessed my love towards ‘her’. I realized that after saying out those words, “I love you”, everything will change. Our relationship will never be the same anymore. We will either become closer or worst. At first, ‘she’ thought that I am joking around. But, after some explanation ‘she’ started to understand my meanings. ‘She’ told me that ‘she’ needs a lot of time to think about it. Therefore, I agree to give ‘her’ more space and time to think through my words even though deep inside my heart, I wanted to hear “I love you too” from ‘her’ instantly. I guess that I can’t do anything besides waiting for ‘her’ answer. Even though I still have a lot of things to share with ‘her’, I decided to end our conversation. I wanted ‘her’ to focus in ‘her’ study. I wish ‘her’ good night and heads home. Later, I had conversations with my friends. I realized that confessing through MSN is not sincere enough. So, I made up my mind. I will tell ‘her’ “I love you” in person. I wanted to show ‘her’ that my feeling towards ‘her’ is genuine and sincere. I will do it on the day after tomorrow. I look at my hand phone and the time shows 4am. Gosh. It’s been a long night. I felt relieved after told ‘her’ about my feelings. Now I can have a good nap and sweet dreams. Good nite.z.z.Z