Monday-May 24 2010

Well, its been a while. I am not on the mood to write anything on this page till these day. Nothing seems to work for me. Either in coping with my daily problems nor my affections. Everything that i did doesn't make any sense. As if i was lost inside "myself". Sometimes it seems that i am so open minded and get along with your decisions but the truth is, i am not. I always think that i can let u go easily but i can't. My heart is so fragile, my body is so weak and my tears drop easily. I knew the chance for us getting together never exist, but why am i still waiting and hoping something to happen between us? I am the biggest loser and idiot in this universe. I always wanted to dig deeper into your past so that i will know you even better. But, i only suffered more for doing so. Tears accompany me from day to day. Loneliness surrounds me. Everyday i tried to not think about it and act as thou i am alright in front of you. So that, we can maintain our friendship and continues giving you courage to face your nightmare. I think that's all i wanted to say for now.

Thursday-May 13 2010

Well, its my last day in Kampar for this semester. Well, i tried to spent more valuable time with my friends here instead of going back to my hometown earlier. It's been a wonderful moments spending my time with them. As the matter of fact, hanging around with your friends is part of the uni life. Time goes by with a blink of an eye. I had been here for a year. I tried to remember what's happened last year at this time. All our experiences and time we spent together will be treasured inside my heart forever. I guess thats all i wana say for the mean time. Wish you all good luck in the exam and happy holidays ^0^v

Sunday- May 9 2010

Finally, I realize,

That I am nothing without you,

I was so wrong,

Forgive me,

My broken heart like a wave,

My shaken heart like a wind,

My heart vanished like smoke,

It can’t be remove like a tattoo,

I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in,

Only dust are piled up in my mind,

I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you,

But, somehow I manage to live on longer than I thought,

You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”,

I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless,

What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?

Dear, can you even see me, did you forget completely?

I am worried; I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you,

I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times,

Don’t look back and leave,

Don’t find me again and live on,

Because I have no regrets from loving you,

Take only the good memories,

I can bear it in some way,

I can stand in some way,

You should be happy if you are like this,

Day by day I become dull,

Oh girl, I cry,

You are my all, say goodbye,

If we pass by each other on the street,

Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to,

If you keep thinking about our past memories,

I might go look for you secretly,

Always be happy with him, so I won’t ever get a different mind,

Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever,

Please live well as if I should feel jealous,

You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud,

Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened,

I hope your heart feels relieved after living me,

Those tears will dry completely as time passes by,

It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all,

Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever,

Oh my love, you are my heart, say goodbye.

Finally, the long awaited time has come. The battle was over. Everything seems back to normal again, after few weeks of chaos cause by the exam. Everybody looks burn out while saying good bye to our final exams, so do I. After the exam, we went to KFC. It’s been a while since I went there. The mouth watering aroma of the fried chicken opens up my appetite. Later we all went to FECCA and unexpectedly, Deborah and her gang shows up. We were stuck there while waiting for the rain to stop. Hence, I missed the barbeque party organized by our development trend tutorial group. But, few hours later, it was still raining cats and dogs. So, we decided to walk to LFK for dinner. An hour later, as calculated by Ben the rain stops. We heads home for a bath and later meets up at Adrian’s place. We played with his sugar glider, chit chatting and drink a bottle of vodka, where my cheek was blushing. Later at midnight, we went to FECCA for the second time of the day and that’s how the day ends. Well, I woke up at 4pm today because we are going to play badminton at 4.30. Later we went for steamboat. It was the first time that Tze Wei was joining us for dinner. Everyone make fun of her and we all laughed together. The atmosphere was so nice. It looks like a family gathering, where all of us sitting around a table and enjoying our delicious meal with a big smile on the face of everybody. After filling our empty stomach with a “horse”, we went to FECCA. Well, something happened to both my friend. I don’t know much how it happened but I hope that our friendship will never be affected by the incident. Friendship is much more precious than any other things in this world.

A friendship might be fragile but a true friendship will never break off. (Wee, 2010)

Monday-May 03 2010

Today is another historical day in my life. I was fallen in the battlefield. This is due to my lack of preparations and underestimated the power of the enemy. I lost the most important things in the battle. The fierce and unscrupulous "monster" took away my "confidence", living me nothing beside this coward body of mine. How am I going to face the remaining battles without my spear of confidence? I was pushed by the enemy to the edge of the cliff. Waiting for a miracle to save me and throw me back into the battle. While in the mean time, I should take a siesta first.

Saturday-May 01 2010

It's already May and i am in d middle of the "battle field" without any tricks up my sleeve. I am like a harmless guy and going for a suicide. Well, i just have to push those things aside first. So, back to the story. Ian was back today and it means that our "knight family" finally reunite. As usual, we went for dinner at old town market and later we went for "exercise". In addition, as usual JY was pissed off while playing DOTA. Me and Ben laughed to each other when we both saw it. I don't know about others, but for me playing Dota together is suppose to be a fun and happy activity. Why should we get stressed or pissed off? WEIRD. Before i forgotten, today is Mars' birthday. We wished him happy birthday. I hope that he will do well in the exam and happy always. Last but not least, i had commented in your blog. I hope you don't mind. Actually i wanted to say something that may comfort you but i doesn't know how to express it in words. I am such a dumb ass. Therefore, hope that you can pinch me again. You may pinch me as hard as possible. I will be happy if you do so. Wish that you all will be flourish by happiness and love.